4. Clean up dishes, plates, and cups that are in your room. If I run out of clean ones, I will have no choice but to dispense your meals and drinks directly into your hands. And the clean up from that will be your worst nightmare.
5. Hang up wet towels and clothes upon return from the pool. You know darned well we have to take our clothes to the laundry mat. Do you really want to take a chance of science projects growing in your swim suits? Yeah, I didn't think so.
6. Make sure you schedule your own times to read, draw, and express your creative selves. Sit for too long and watch as the internet "accidentally" gets cut off. Go ahead. Try me!
7. Figure out how to cook eggs, make a sandwich, and get a bowl of cereal. There are plenty of things you can whip up in the kitchen without my assistance. Feel free to take advantage of this wonderful moment of independence. Clean up afterward.
8. Organize, clean, and maintain your room. You are old enough to know that the vacuum is not alive and won't eat your toes. Please avoid sucking up the rocks, screws, and various sundry hardware that have navigated onto your carpet. Don't blow shit up in there!
9. The space beneath the couch cushions is not a bottom less pit for snack wrappers, socks, remote controls, etc... When I lift those cushions I should not need a shovel to clean up. If I can't run the vacuum over the underside of the cushions, we have a huge problem. Get off your tushies and put that stuff into the trash can. It is literally only 10 tiny steps away.
10. Mama's writing time is her therapy. Do not monopolize the computer. When I say it's time to transition to another activity, please comply. You've seen me when I'm stressed. It's not pretty. Learning to respect the needs of another human is a worthwhile endeavor. As your mother, I am only too happy to offer this opportunity to you.