Thursday, June 7, 2018

Life of A Vacuum ~ Victim of Mahem



 Calvin & Hobbes


I truly feel bad for what we have put our vacuum cleaner through lately.  My children are not of the ordinary, simple, garden variety species.  They create, play, and make messes like nobody's business. I don't know where to begin when I enter their rooms.  Yes, I do expect them to help, but sometimes the room begs for my version of "Mom approved clean."  You know what I'm talking about!


 They look so sweet and incapable of the exploits I share.
Copyright 2017 World of Writer Mom




Push Pin Travel Maps


Kids version of cleaning up is as follows:
 
Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

 
Basic surface level only clean up. (The superficial, fake clean.)
 
 
Anything fits into a garbage bag.  No sorting required.
 
 
No need to throw away wrappers, empty containers, or papers.
 
 
It's perfectly acceptable to throw away dirty socks, underwear, & items that have become ripped when you don't want mom to find out. (Even though she already knows when you complain there are no underwear or socks in your room.)
 
 
Mixing of items in a bag is okay.  In fact, mixing wrappers with clothing is ideal.  No time to decide what goes where anyways!
 
 
Small items not easily seen (but able to inflict pain upon impact) are to be left on the carpet.  It's more fun to watch the vacuum wheeze, smoke, and grind to a halt.
 
 
Dirty dishes, glasses with toxic sludge, and dinner plates that won't be missed (according to a child's point of view) might end up in the throw away bag if you can get it out the door quickly. 
 
 
It is assumed that Mom will forgive the nails (toe, finger, and picture hangers), push pins, tacks, screws, and miscellaneous home improvement tools on the floor if she is able to safely extricate them from her feet, hands, and fingers. 
 
 
(Mom chuckles maniacally at the idea of "home improvement" items entering a child's room unaccompanied by a responsible adult.)  Yet, that is exactly where these items magically navigate by none other than "Not Me"  and "I Don't Know."
 
 
Tools find their way to the room, probably out of loyalty to the push pins, nails, and screws in the carpet.
 
 
Spare change has an amazing ability to end up in corners, under furniture, and even inside clothes baskets.  I have a nice jar started toward my future retirement.



 https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1003215&u=1690540&m=69845&urllink=&afftrack=

 
 Mom's Version of Clean-Up is as follows:


Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

 Enter room to assess the damages.  This involves looking in  the closet too! 


Take your anti-anxiety medication to reduce the heart palpitations and quell that dizzy, nauseated feeling.

 
Affix large garbage bag to the door knob. (Throw out 90% of what you find.)

 
Begin piles for clothing in the hall or living room, which ever is the nearest place to toss darks/lights/whites/towels, etc...

 
Start sorting!  Be prepared for the stench of ass and frustration.

 
It's best to let your mind wander to your happy place as you scrape gum off the base boards, pull sticky candy from the carpet, and carefully remove nails, push pins, screws, and pennies (Oh, soooo many pennies!) from the floor.

 
Assign each item a new "home."  

 
Put aside any items that require a "follow up" conversation with your child/children.  (You'll know what I mean when you find it.  No other explanations necessary.)

Leave the clean clothes in a pile for your children to fold and put away.  They at least need to do this!  (Once you have conversations regarding #8, it's unlikely you'll get too much resistance.)

 
Children old enough to wash their own clothing should do so.  If you're like our family, have the kids carry the laundry to the car and load it for a trip to the laundry mat.  


Have them help with all other aspects of this family adventure once you get there.  






Hope these lovely lists help.  
Hope you at least laughed and found comfort 
 in the fact you are not alone.  



https://www.motivationalwellbeing.com/



I'm sure most parents struggle with the clean room dilemma. 
Hope your week is going well and your troubles are limited
 to whether or not your vacuum will survive. 




https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1189375&u=1690540&m=40173&urllink=&afftrack=




Wishing all of you a week of adventures,
solutions to your challenges, and
 answers to your prayers.


Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

Kindest Wishes,
~Mary 








No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for visiting WorldofWriterMom.org I appreciate your time and comments. Kindest Wishes, Mary

REQUIRED DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY STATEMENT

World of Writer Mom.org is part of an affiliate program. This means that if you make a purchase through the links I promote on this site or on its related social media platforms, I may earn a small commission from that action to support World of Writer Mom.org

Important: You will NOT be charged more when buying products through my link.

I enjoy taking time to research products that look interesting and may provide helpful resources to you and your family. The opinions, knowledge, and experiences I write about are my own.

Real Life Awareness:

Recommendations do not imply liability, responsibility for disappointments or failed expectations, or regret over budgeting woes. I trust each reader to use their own good judgment when it comes to knowing what will work best for you and your family. (Because...well...I am not the ultimate decision maker, judge, or source of approval for anyone except myself...and my children...until they are legally allowed to represent themselves.)

Thank You for taking time to read, participate, and share your adventures with me. Hopefully, we'll find something to occasionally purchase, enjoy, and use in an effort to create a special moment.

Privacy: This blog does not share personal information with third parties nor do we store any information about your visit to this blog other than to analyze and optimize your content and reading experience through the use of cookies. You can turn off the use of cookies at anytime by changing your specific browser settings. We are not responsible for republished content from this blog on other blogs or websites without our permission. This privacy policy is subject to change without notice and was last updated on April 22, 2018. If you have any questions feel free to contact me directly here at: worldofwritermom@outlook.com Subject Line: Privacy Statement

RESOURCES for Co-Parenting

OurFamilyWizard can help you, learn more now.

My Modern Met Store ~ Art & More!

EARTH MAMA~ Welcome to World of Writer Mom!

Earth Mama OrgEarth Mama Organic Periodic Tea

Gibbs Smith Publisher

LuLu's Fashions

COMFORTABLE URBAN CLOTHING MEN FIND DESIRABLE

I Love My Pillow.com

Crafted in the USA

PROMOTE.ADVOCATE.FUNDRAISE

CORPORATE Gift Giving Plans

Holiday

STELLA & DOT

Shop for a Cause

Neck Hammock ~ Pain Relief

Neck Hammock

Lydia's Medical Uniforms & Gear

Save $10 on your $50 offer with Code PWAFFLE16

CHRISTMAS Shopping FUN 2018

Shop Now

Car Covers

Car Covers

GRABEASE Utensils

Beautiful Infant Care Gifts at The Baby Cubby

The Baby Cubby Owlet

Mom Cozy ~ Making Mom's Life Easier

Corner Stork ~ BABY Gifts

BABY ASPEN

Baby Aspen

Snoofy Bee Diaper Changing

BODY CARE by NATIVE

Google+ Followers (Awesome Inspirations)

About Me

My photo

Mary Varville-Rodriguez, BSW, Child Development/Early Intervention Specialist/Advocate (15+ years), Prior experiences: AFAA Certified (Frankfurt, Germany) & Global Wellness Certified (Augsburg, Germany) for Personal Trainer/Aerobics Instructor/Exercise Prescription, UTMB at Galveston Dept. of Pediatrics - Project LAUNCH - Community Outreach/Referral Development/EIS-C, Current: World of Writer Mom.org Writer/Publisher/Marketing Affiliate/Advocate