Saturday, September 29, 2018

Sugar Plums & Fairy Dust ~ Creative Swear Words


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I tell my husband that I never swore until we had been dating for a while.  It's my way of trying to transfer the blame to him.  I don't remember being much of a salty mouthed person growing up.  I might have had a few inappropriate words float through my head on occasion out of frustration, but knew better than to let them fly out of my mouth.  That was my period of presenting the fake me; the me who had to edit herself for fear of what someone might think if I shared my real emotions. (She still shows up more frequently than I'd like.) Those bottled up emotions had nowhere to go, and created quite a few physical ailments.  I finally decided to see a therapist in my early twenties.  Turned out that moving to another state for a career opportunity, intent on solidifying a long-term on again, off again relationship I had been in since college turned out to be a perfect recipe for an emotional disaster. 



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I recall one session where I sat in front of my therapist with a sad emptiness.  I knew there was no sign of emotion on my face; just a blank stare as I recited my "positive" outlook and all the ways I wanted to make things seem okay.  I had allowed myself to be unhappy in a long term relationship and didn't quite think enough of myself to end it.  I viewed a break up as a sign of failure.  Besides, how would I explain that to my family?  At one point in our session, the therapist looked at me and said something that still haunts me and makes me think.  "You're just sitting there acting like everything is okay.  I just want to reach over and shake you!  Why don't you feel like you deserve anything better?" That was the beginning of some long, deep, soul searching as I struggled to ask myself why I couldn't let out the real me.  Why did I still feel a need to be perfect, smooth out the wrinkles in a warn out relationship that was on life support way longer than necessary, and be afraid to move forward?  Why? 




So by the time I ended that relationship and met my husband, I had a lot of baggage to deal with.  So did he.  Only I didn't realize it at the time.  As with any relationship, you gradually unpack the baggage, and begin to figure out it's place in your life, if you can tolerate the process of unpacking it, and what you can work together to eliminate if it wasn't in the best interest of the union.  It's been a bitch of a time.  Even after almost 20 years, the haunting memory of the day my therapist asked, "Why don't you feel like you deserve better?" still pops up in my brain, like those pop up advertisements you wish would go away so you can read the damned articles in peace. (If you ever see anything pop up on my site, let me know.  I did not design this page for pop ups.)





The process of finding my voice and letting out those pent up emotions has resulted in me being a bit more free with my "creative language."  I discovered that certain sounds elicit specific emotions that are just not duplicated by "proper" linguistics.  Sometimes dropping an "F" bomb adds clarity, reduces stress, and eliminates the need to pull my eyelashes out or dig my fingernails into my hand to control the burning sensation that develops in my chest (a.k.a anxiety) when somebody cuts me off in traffic.  The satisfaction of hearing and feeling the /ck/ sound at the end of a word is immediate.  There is a connotation of defined power.



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"As children we're taught that cursing, even when we're in pain, is inappropriate,
betrays a limited vocabulary or is somehow low class 
in that ambiguous way many cultural lessons suggest.
  But profanity serves a physiological, emotional and social purpose 
- and it's effective only because it's inappropriate."  ~ Kristin Wong



There are studies that have shown the benefits of swearing. From emotional release to interpersonal communications that serve as a bonding agent, releasing a few swear words into the atmosphere can be cathartic.  The frustrations I have experienced since meeting my husband have definitely earned a few suitcases (baggage) full of swear words.  He has used them in conversations, and I simply got tired of not having sufficient vernacular to toss back. My "oh, fudge" go-to that I picked up from my dad just wasn't working it's magic when engaged in a discussion.  So thanks to my very challenging, "I learned English from watching Martin on television" husband, I began to expand my use of traditional swear words.  An "F" bomb here, a Gordon Ramsey-esque version of "piss off" there, and some other colorful expression picked up from the Cardi B songs my teen listens to on the way to school to "pump her up" for the day. 


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"A study co-authored by Richard Stephens, a senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University,
 found that swearing can increase your ability to withstand pain.  
So when you stub your toe and howl and expletive, 
it might help you tolerate the pain better."




So I do think it's okay to let loose on occasion and release the stress, tension, and pain in your life with a few swear words.  Of course, now that I have children, I want to provide alternatives that are just as creative and therapeutic.  There is the added benefit of being more, ahem, "socially acceptable" under certain circumstances; like places where you might risk offending people with your personal rendition of Gordon Ramsey's unique blend of humor and spicy swear words.  So here are a few "swears" my kids and I have created/borrowed to share our anger, pain, frustration, and exasperation with the many events that transpire in our lives.



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World of Writer Mom Original Swears:

Optional: Begin each of these with an, "Oh!"

*Sugar Plums & Fairy Dust
(Personal favorite)

Fudge Nuts and Cherries

Tomatoes and Salad Dressing

Cranberry Sauce

Apple Cobbler Puddin' and Pie

(Lots of food related references)

  Diddly Wompers or
Dinkus Wompers

Well knock my sand castle down 
and throw me in the ocean

Any made up silly words (alliteration is fun) 
or humorous nonsense phrases

Say any celebrity's name using inflection,
attitude, and tone of voice to convey a message

Examples:
(Inspired by my middle school crew.  
Shout outs to Nathan, Sebastien, and Josh)


"Aargh! Lindsey Lohan and Lollipops!"

"Oh my Fetty Wap."

"Kanye West and Kitty Cat Crayons"


Borrowed or Heard from Somewhere

God Bless America
(My kids think this is hilarious for some reason.
I think America needs a lot of blessing.)

Blessed Mother give me patience!

Literary Swears
(Quotes taken from your favorite novels can 
be turned into your own personal stress word.)









Share A Swear Contest


I'm sure there are more, and I'll add them as the ideas come to me.  I've asked family and friends for their input, so we'll look forward to seeing what they share.  Inviting you to give your recommendations too!  What words do you say that provide immediate relief from pain and stress, and what creative words have you shouted in a moment of frustration? See comments section after this article to add your ideas.  Come up with something unique that makes me laugh so hard my abs hurt and I'll pick three that I love enough to send you a gift card from one of my affiliates.  You can add it to the comments section below or share to my facebook account. I will make my selections on 10/30/2018.







Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
answers to your prayers, 
resources to help you survive
all of your collaborative projects!


Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

Kindest Wishes,


 ~Mary  


~  Contest Rules ~
Contest has CLOSED

Offer is valid only in the U.S.A.
Comments are due by end of day 10/30/2018
"Swears" need to be unique and suitable for use 
by children and adults
(a.k.a something I can print for this article)
Winners announced on 10/31/2018






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Thank you for visiting WorldofWriterMom.org I appreciate your time and comments. Kindest Wishes, Mary

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World of Writer Mom.org is part of an affiliate program. This means that if you make a purchase through the links I promote on this site or on its related social media platforms, I may earn a small commission from that action to support World of Writer Mom.org

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Mary Varville-Rodriguez, BSW, Child Development/Early Intervention Specialist/Advocate (15+ years), Prior experiences: AFAA Certified (Frankfurt, Germany) & Global Wellness Certified (Augsburg, Germany) for Personal Trainer/Aerobics Instructor/Exercise Prescription, UTMB at Galveston Dept. of Pediatrics - Project LAUNCH - Community Outreach/Referral Development/EIS-C, Current: World of Writer Mom.org Writer/Publisher/Marketing Affiliate/Advocate