Monday, August 12, 2019

Lovely, Friggin' Mondays

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Friggin' Mondays!
By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez


Mondays. How can one day create so much hope and possibility while simultaneously conjuring up the most enormous demons of doom?  The weekend flies by, and I still have a list of tasks that continues to grow each day.  The illusion that the bulk of these things can be accomplished by Friday afternoon before I pick up the kids continues to emerge every Sunday evening, in spite of evidence to the contrary.  A life time of "failures" at the end of my week has not succeeded in dulling that feeling that this, THIS,  is the week everything magically falls into place. There will be no signs of drama or missed fortunes, and the weather will provide the right amount of sunshine and fresh air to make me feel as if I can take a deep breath for a change.  


Friggin' Mondays!

I tell my children that my expectations cannot possibly be that outrageous if I tackle them one at a time. They nod sympathetically then glance at each other. They've heard this before. Never mind that there are random occurrences of unplanned tasks that inevitably get tacked onto the existing list for the week.  Yet like a skilled surgeon who has just one more patient to fit in for an emergency, I squeeze in another thing to do until my body is physically done.  It is why I sit at my computer at 1:20 AM and write as if I can release the anxious feeling before sunrise.  Writing is my therapy and my nemesis all in one. 


Friggin' Mondays!

There are a few things I know will push me in the direction of positive outcomes.  These are the skills I continue to work on even when I want to throw my hands up in the air, scream at the source of my frustration, and "tap out" when it comes to dealing with challenging situations and individuals who are also, like myself, looking for ways to communicate.  


Friggin' Mondays!

Here are the things I repeat to myself several times a day as needed. 
(Along with a few well know prayers I memorized as a child plus the "free style" prayers of the heart.)

We are each on this planet for a finite number of minutes.
Each person has a unique perspective based on:
Life Experiences
Personal Insights
Our Childhood
Moments in our time line of growth
Where we are in our personal development
What we choose to learn from our experiences
How we decide to apply the lessons we receive
Our personal expectations of
Ourselves and Others
Our vision, mission, and life plan
Plus so many more variables...countless possibilities

We have an obligation to reach out
Attempt to communicate
Share our back story and listen to others
Be open to feedback in an effort to
resolve concerns in a kind, loving manner
Raise awareness of other view points
Advocate for change in an effort to move forward
Make a difference by what we say and how we say it
Inspire the change we hope to see
It is through inspiration that we can 
validate and motivate others.



So what are the TEN things that push me in the direction positive outcomes? Here we go...

1.  I want to lead by example. What will my children learn from me if I don't make an effort to keep going in a positive manner?

2. I truly believe that for most challenges, problems, and inconvenient events, we can turn it around and learn from them.  Does that mean our lessons are easy and pain free? No. But we do have a choice in how we can approach them, heal from them, and become an advocate for others so they can also heal.

3. Self Awareness is a beach.  It is not a pleasant experience to realize there are things about our personality that need to be dealt with and changed; especially if they interfere with our personal interactions. That doesn't mean we have to agree with everything, accept the abuse of others, or take blame for things that are beyond our control.  It does mean we need to recognize when our egos get in the way and we don't want to back down from an argument, even when we realize we screwed up.  Self Awareness means that sometimes you're going to need to apologize or press the reset button when things have gone side ways in a relationship. Difficult? Yes. Attainable? Yes.

4. We are all here on this planet to learn from each other, our experiences, and our decisions.  No two journeys are the same.  Remembering this is so important when attempting to respect and understand someone else's view points.  Instead of trying to make them see your way is the best, make the effort to hear their perspective if they are willing to share.  Active listening is a big deal! It involves recognizing the other person's need to be heard. You may not be able to validate every idea, concept, or decision.  You can let them know you care and hope they will receive the grace and guidance necessary to make their decisions.

5. Sometimes things will not get done during the week because you need to prioritize. Unexpected circumstances can occur, and being flexible can be a key component when it comes to managing stress.

6. I am not great at asking for or accepting help. I'm learning.  Knowing this about my personality allows me the opportunity to be helped even when it feels uncomfortable. I know how much I like feeling needed and valued for my contributions.  I want others to experience what I do every time I am able to offer assistance.  It's a great feeling!

7.  My favorite activity each day is finding ways to say, "Thank You" and "You are appreciated."  Sometimes just going to the drive through for a $1 iced tea is enough to push me forward. I love it when someone encourages me to have a nice day, smiles at me, and hands me my tea with a positive attitude. I then tell them, "Thanks. I appreciate you!" It's a simple gesture that goes a long way with me.  When you're a busy mom trying to get everyone where they need to be, make it to appointments on time, and work on writing the next (just great enough) novel....that smile and kind voice in the drive through can be the glue that helps you hold your shazazzle together.  Best $1 spent ever!

8. I have slowly started to get back to reading. I used to devour books in no time. Since becoming a parent, my reading time has significantly gone down. I read to my children, but books of personal interest outside of The Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants genre became absent from my repertoire.  I missed it, but I didn't.  Seemed like I was so busy with the minutiae of parenting that I scarcely thought to sit my behind down for a second to even think about books.  So I now keep a book for myself in the car and several for the kids in those pockets behind my seat.  When I am waiting in the car rider line for kids to emerge, the book is right there for me to sneak in a few pages.  I am happy to report that I have almost completed one book since school started.  Sigh. I know, I know.  Doesn't seem like much, but to me it's a success.  Carving out time for myself is a process and one that helps push me toward positive outcomes.  

9. I am making time to go to physical therapy sessions to alleviate the pain from a recent car accident. Even though it is hard to make myself get there, I am doing it in an effort to heal.  Having a professional validate that my pain is not all in my head is a huge deal.  I tend to have a high tolerance for pain (and BS...but that's another story.)  So giving myself permission to take care of myself is huge!  Validating someone's concerns, challenges, and experiences has an amazing affect.  It provides pathways toward positive outcomes.  I want to be that person for others who are also experiencing difficult life moments, because I understand what it has meant to me.

10. Finding, creating, and sharing resources leads to improved outcomes.  Feeling like you have to manage everything by yourself is not only impractical, but one of the reasons we end up stressed and exhausted.  Accepting the value of other resources and collaborations can release some if the burden that weigh us down. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Keep telling yourself it is okay if something is not 100% perfect according to your idea of perfect.  Perfect is not going to solve all your problems, relieve all your worries, or grant all your wishes like a genie in a bottle.  


Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
answers to your prayers, 
resources to help you survive
all of your collaborative projects!

Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

Kindest Wishes,



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