Thursday, June 4, 2020

Create Better Leadership to Address Social Injustices

"Asheville Police destroy water bottles at med station set up to help treat people with
 chemical burns and other injuries inflicted by police." 
Posted on social media by advocate/activist
John Pavlovitz

  Fact checked at

Create Better Leadership to Address Social Injustices

by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

These are the behaviors that continue to create divisions. How can anyone think this is going to help? Supervisors need to become better leaders and provide comprehensive training that prevents incidents from escalating. LEADERSHIP on ALL levels from the top (POTUS) down through the ranks is the only way anything will change.

1. ADMIT when you've fucked up communication! I don't care who you are...just accept your part in these senseless tragedies.

2. AGREE that things need to change.

3. COMMIT to putting your own egos on the side. Claiming your way is the only right way to deal with legitimate concerns that will never lead to successful strategies or outcomes.

4. COMMUNICATE a desire to prevent dangerous behaviors that escalate unsafe situations.

5. CREATE betters ways to address how law enforcement and all emergency personnel engage with their community. (Regardless of how awesome/horrible you think your community is, we can always look at ways to do things better.)

6. PROMISE to have consequences and repercussions in place for those who refuse to abide by improved standards of conduct. There are many de-escalation programs available for training that can be accessed and practiced. ( I have personally been certified in two separate programs that practice safe handling, de-escalation techniques, and how to safely subdue someone who is in crisis.)

7. REMEMBER that everyone views their world through separate lenses. YOUR experiences do not equal that of someone else. If I claim that my world is more valid and worthy than another soul's, this makes me arrogant and lacking in compassion. I need to challenge myself to be more sensitive and aware. I need to acknowledge that what I think is right and necessary to be heard is not necessarily the experience of my neighbor.

8. UNDERSTAND there is no "one size fits all" solution to the problems we have seen over the past week. There are multiple layers that need to be addressed by many communities. The long-term, systemic trauma that has been allowed to continue is beyond the boiling point. What we have seen is not surprising at all. What is surprising is that we have failed to adequately address the concerns below surface level, but have expected more than is currently available. To clean a wound that is deep and diseased, you do not put on a band-aid. We cannot allow ourselves to be complacent and hope this "blows over." Serious remediation in terms of training at several levels needs to be initiated.

9. BECOME a part of the solution versus adding to the division. How can you get into your communities and be an active voice? Begin in your homes, on the job, within your company's culture, in your houses of worship, and when you are out and about in your community. When you view an injustice, learn how to communicate and de-escalate. (Beyond your "license to carry" which many are so passionate about.)

10. LOOK at how you might change your own attitude in the process of changing someone's heart.
ACTIONS speak louder than words. Share what you plan to do to make things better. Pick one of the above numbers or share one of your own ideas. Let's keep the conversation going.

Wishing all of you a week of introspection, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.

Kindest Wishes,

 Copyright 2020 WorldofWriterMom

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Monday, May 25, 2020

Monday's "List of Ten" Mom Moments

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Monday's "List of Ten" Mom Moments

By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

1.  I am learning to be content with the small successes and not get overwhelmed by all the things I still have to do.

2. Understanding that life is a process and nobody begins or ends their time on earth with the stamp of perfection can be a relief.

3.  Having the self-awareness to realize #2 can be the best gift you ever give to yourself!

4.  Remind yourself that each person has a different start point in terms of their spirituality. It is unfair and pointless to pass your judgment upon others in the name of religious righteousness.

5.  I often remind my own children, "If it's not helpful, then don't 
     do/say it!"  I continuously remind myself to consider that same advice...especially when commenting on someone's site or other social media. There's a way to make your point without hurting someone.

6.  Be vigilant and aware of how stereotypes, labeling, and name-
     calling reduce the efficacy of your points.  There is a way you can present a concern, dispute a claim, and state your case with dignity and respect for others and for yourself.

7.  One of the most effective methods to bring about the change you
     desire in the world is to live and lead by example.  Mocking 
     differences, what you do not understand, or things where you 
     have not done due diligence with your research will rarely, if
     ever, encourage people to change their views.

8.  Inspiring people by what you do, what you say, and how you present yourself has the power to motivate them.  You can't motivate other people, you can only motivate yourself! But you can be the source of inspiration that could push someone toward making the changes necessary to move forward and improve.
     (Apologies to Mikki Williams, a fabulous inspirational speaker!)

9.  Sometimes it takes a long, long, long time to reach your goals. 
     Be ready to sink into the mud and wade through it. It's not 
     always easy to take that difficult path, but it's going to be worth
     the adventure!  

10. List making is a great way to organize your thoughts and make sure your goals are prioritized. I have always loved making lists as one of my coping strategies.  Being a mom means those lists have become even more important!  And remember to put your own needs on that "to do" list! It's okay to take care of yourself!

Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.

Kindest Wishes,

Please join us for more discussion at:

Monday, May 18, 2020

Considering Adolescents in Treatment Planning

  Here is a recent post I found on social media:

 6 Top Reasons People With A 
Mental Illness
Don't Reach Out 

1. Fear of judgment

2. Guilt - Don't want to be a burden

3. Shame - They see others thriving and don't want to feel weak

4. Felt misunderstood on previous attempts,
 so choose to suffer in silence

5. Fear rejection - already feel unloveable, can't cope with another reason to add to that list

6. Fear criticism

Considering Adolescents in 
Treatment Planning
By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

  There are additional factors to consider when working with teens

I work with adolescents in a mental health facility. Some of the reasons they continue to have challenges managing their mental health concerns include:

1. Parents/Guardians feel that they will be blamed for their teen's problems if they pursue therapy.

2. Parents/Guardians blame a "symptom carrier" of the overall family dynamics when in fact ALL members of a family need to be included in a treatment plan. (This need is not usually included in a discharge plan from a mental health facility.)

3. Parents/Guardians have not dealt with their own dysfunctional coping skills and are unable to provide a foundation for their teen's healing process.

4. Family members expect a short term treatment facility to "cure" all the problems without additional resources, supports, or long term therapy.

5. Teens who are struggling with gender identity face criticisms, threats, and abandonment by family.

6. Teens who have been traumatized by sexual/emotional/physical abuse are afraid to report the incidents to their families or to other members in the community due to a variety of concerns. (Including judgment, blame, and disbelief)


1. There is no "magic formula" or short term "fix". On going treatment is often the best course of action. 

2. Be willing to accept your own part in managing the behaviors and consequences. Stop making excuses and start making a plan of action with professionals who specialize in treating adolescents.

3. Accept that you may need to put your ego on the side in order to develop healthier coping skills for every family member.

4. Progress is not linear. Think of it as going off-roading. You're going to have a lot of bumps in this road that will knock you side-ways. Hold on for the long ride. 

5. You cannot "yell" or "shame" the behaviors out of your teen. 

6. Give yourself plenty of grace to make mistakes and seek additional help from community resources. Pressing the "reset" button is an important concept in re-evaluating goals, strategies, and expectations. ~ 

Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.

Kindest Wishes,

Please join us for more discussion at:

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Welcome to Wednesday 2020

By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

Today's Goals:

W - Writing helps me process the emotions and events
 that have an impact on my day. 
I encourage you to try this too.

E - Encouraging my children to do their best 
and see the best in others is an ongoing act of love.

D - Developing new ideas and concepts for my
writing and advocacy blog gives me purpose 
and inspires me to continue.

N - Noticing the talents and skills of the people 
with whom I come into contact 
increases my ability to effectively collaborate.

E - Everyone has something to offer. 
Take the time to consider their insights.

S - Sharing resources opens up new possibilities
 and enhances the experiences we encounter each day.

D - Doing something about the issues and concerns of our time 
is important, worthwhile, and necessary. 
Speak up, have a voice, and find ways
to express yourself in a variety of ways.

A - Arguing is not necessarily the best form of expression 
when attempting to convey a message.
 Sometimes people simply need to vent.
 Listen first then figure out how to 
respectfully and calmly state your case.

Y - YOU are the only one who can figure out what inspires
 and motivates you toward success.
 Gravitate toward the people and things 
that will help you feel accomplished and successful.

Recommendations for the day:
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Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.

Kindest Wishes,

Copyright 2020 WorldofWriterMom