Monday, May 25, 2020

Monday's "List of Ten" Mom Moments

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Monday's "List of Ten" Mom Moments

By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez


1.  I am learning to be content with the small successes and not get overwhelmed by all the things I still have to do.


2. Understanding that life is a process and nobody begins or ends their time on earth with the stamp of perfection can be a relief.


3.  Having the self-awareness to realize #2 can be the best gift you ever give to yourself!


4.  Remind yourself that each person has a different start point in terms of their spirituality. It is unfair and pointless to pass your judgment upon others in the name of religious righteousness.

5.  I often remind my own children, "If it's not helpful, then don't 
     do/say it!"  I continuously remind myself to consider that same advice...especially when commenting on someone's site or other social media. There's a way to make your point without hurting someone.


6.  Be vigilant and aware of how stereotypes, labeling, and name-
     calling reduce the efficacy of your points.  There is a way you can present a concern, dispute a claim, and state your case with dignity and respect for others and for yourself.


7.  One of the most effective methods to bring about the change you
     desire in the world is to live and lead by example.  Mocking 
     differences, what you do not understand, or things where you 
     have not done due diligence with your research will rarely, if
     ever, encourage people to change their views.


8.  Inspiring people by what you do, what you say, and how you present yourself has the power to motivate them.  You can't motivate other people, you can only motivate yourself! But you can be the source of inspiration that could push someone toward making the changes necessary to move forward and improve.
     (Apologies to Mikki Williams, a fabulous inspirational speaker!)

9.  Sometimes it takes a long, long, long time to reach your goals. 
     Be ready to sink into the mud and wade through it. It's not 
     always easy to take that difficult path, but it's going to be worth
     the adventure!  

10. List making is a great way to organize your thoughts and make sure your goals are prioritized. I have always loved making lists as one of my coping strategies.  Being a mom means those lists have become even more important!  And remember to put your own needs on that "to do" list! It's okay to take care of yourself!
    




Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.


Kindest Wishes,
Mary




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Monday, May 18, 2020

Considering Adolescents in Treatment Planning


  Here is a recent post I found on social media:

 6 Top Reasons People With A 
Mental Illness
Don't Reach Out 
@RealDepressionProject



1. Fear of judgment

2. Guilt - Don't want to be a burden

3. Shame - They see others thriving and don't want to feel weak

4. Felt misunderstood on previous attempts,
 so choose to suffer in silence

5. Fear rejection - already feel unloveable, can't cope with another reason to add to that list

6. Fear criticism



Considering Adolescents in 
Treatment Planning
By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

  There are additional factors to consider when working with teens
 



I work with adolescents in a mental health facility. Some of the reasons they continue to have challenges managing their mental health concerns include:

1. Parents/Guardians feel that they will be blamed for their teen's problems if they pursue therapy.

2. Parents/Guardians blame a "symptom carrier" of the overall family dynamics when in fact ALL members of a family need to be included in a treatment plan. (This need is not usually included in a discharge plan from a mental health facility.)

3. Parents/Guardians have not dealt with their own dysfunctional coping skills and are unable to provide a foundation for their teen's healing process.

4. Family members expect a short term treatment facility to "cure" all the problems without additional resources, supports, or long term therapy.

5. Teens who are struggling with gender identity face criticisms, threats, and abandonment by family.

6. Teens who have been traumatized by sexual/emotional/physical abuse are afraid to report the incidents to their families or to other members in the community due to a variety of concerns. (Including judgment, blame, and disbelief)


REALITY OF TREATING
MENTAL HEALTH & WELLNESS CONCERNS:

1. There is no "magic formula" or short term "fix". On going treatment is often the best course of action. 

2. Be willing to accept your own part in managing the behaviors and consequences. Stop making excuses and start making a plan of action with professionals who specialize in treating adolescents.

3. Accept that you may need to put your ego on the side in order to develop healthier coping skills for every family member.

4. Progress is not linear. Think of it as going off-roading. You're going to have a lot of bumps in this road that will knock you side-ways. Hold on for the long ride. 

5. You cannot "yell" or "shame" the behaviors out of your teen. 

6. Give yourself plenty of grace to make mistakes and seek additional help from community resources. Pressing the "reset" button is an important concept in re-evaluating goals, strategies, and expectations. ~ WorldofWriterMom.org 





Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.


Kindest Wishes,
Mary




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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Welcome to Wednesday 2020




WEDNESDAY'S GOALS
By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez
  

Today's Goals:


W - Writing helps me process the emotions and events
 that have an impact on my day. 
I encourage you to try this too.


E - Encouraging my children to do their best 
and see the best in others is an ongoing act of love.


D - Developing new ideas and concepts for my
writing and advocacy blog gives me purpose 
and inspires me to continue.


N - Noticing the talents and skills of the people 
with whom I come into contact 
increases my ability to effectively collaborate.


E - Everyone has something to offer. 
Take the time to consider their insights.


S - Sharing resources opens up new possibilities
 and enhances the experiences we encounter each day.


D - Doing something about the issues and concerns of our time 
is important, worthwhile, and necessary. 
Speak up, have a voice, and find ways
to express yourself in a variety of ways.


A - Arguing is not necessarily the best form of expression 
when attempting to convey a message.
 Sometimes people simply need to vent.
 Listen first then figure out how to 
respectfully and calmly state your case.


Y - YOU are the only one who can figure out what inspires
 and motivates you toward success.
 Gravitate toward the people and things 
that will help you feel accomplished and successful.




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Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
and answers to your prayers.


Kindest Wishes,
Mary

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