A drama about cleaning your child's room
Written by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez
I truly feel bad for what we have put our vacuum cleaner through lately. My children are not of the ordinary, simple, garden variety species. They create, play, and make messes like nobody's business. I don't know where to begin when I enter their rooms. Yes, I do expect them to help, but sometimes the room begs for my version of "Mom approved clean." You know what I'm talking about!
They look so sweet and incapable of the exploits I share.
Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom
Kids version of cleaning up is as follows:
Basic surface level only clean up. (The superficial, fake clean.)
Spare change has an amazing ability to end up in corners, under furniture, and even inside clothes baskets.
I have a nice jar started toward my future retirement.
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| Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom |
Basic surface level only clean up. (The superficial, fake clean.)
Anything fits into a garbage bag. No sorting required.
No need to throw away wrappers, empty containers, or papers.
It's perfectly acceptable to throw away dirty socks, underwear, & items that have become ripped when you don't want mom to find out. (Even though she already knows when you complain there are no underwear or socks in your room.)
No need to throw away wrappers, empty containers, or papers.
It's perfectly acceptable to throw away dirty socks, underwear, & items that have become ripped when you don't want mom to find out. (Even though she already knows when you complain there are no underwear or socks in your room.)
Mixing of items in a bag is okay. In fact, mixing wrappers with clothing is ideal. No time to decide what goes where anyways!
Small
items not easily seen (but able to inflict pain upon impact) are to be
left on the carpet. It's more fun to watch the vacuum wheeze, smoke,
and grind to a halt.
Dirty
dishes, glasses with toxic sludge, and dinner plates that won't be
missed (according to a child's point of view) might end up in the throw
away bag if you can get it out the door quickly.
It
is assumed that Mom will forgive the nails (toe, finger, and picture
hangers), push pins, tacks, screws, and miscellaneous home improvement
tools on the floor if she is able to safely extricate them from her
feet, hands, and fingers.
(Mom
chuckles maniacally at the idea of "home improvement" items entering a
child's room unaccompanied by a responsible adult.) Yet, that is
exactly where these items magically navigate by none other than "Not
Me" and "I Don't Know."
Tools find their way to the room, probably out of loyalty to the push pins, nails, and screws in the carpet.
Spare change has an amazing ability to end up in corners, under furniture, and even inside clothes baskets.
I have a nice jar started toward my future retirement.
Mom's Version of Clean-Up is as follows:
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| Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom |
Enter room to assess the damages. This involves looking
in the closet too!
in the closet too!
Take your anti-anxiety medication to reduce the heart palpitations and quell that dizzy, nauseated feeling.
Affix large garbage bag to the door knob. (Throw out 90% of what you find.)
Begin piles for clothing in the hall or living room, which ever is the nearest place to toss darks/lights/whites/towels, etc...
Start sorting! Be prepared for the stench of ass and frustration.
It's best to let your mind wander to your happy place as you scrape gum off the base boards, pull sticky candy from the carpet, and carefully remove nails, push pins, screws, and pennies (Oh, soooo many pennies!) from the floor.
Assign each item a new "home."
Put aside any items that require a "follow up" conversation with your child/children. (You'll know what I mean when you find it. No other explanations necessary.)
Leave
the clean clothes in a pile for your children to fold and put away.
They at least need to do this! (Once you have conversations regarding
#8, it's unlikely you'll get too much resistance.)
Children old enough to wash their own clothing should do so. If you're like our family, have the kids carry the laundry to the car and load it for a trip to the laundry mat.
Have them help with all other aspects of this family adventure once you get there.
Hope these lovely lists help.
Hope you at least laughed and found comfort
in the fact you are not alone.
I'm sure most parents struggle with the clean room dilemma.
Hope your week is going well and your troubles are limited
to whether or not your vacuum will survive.
Hope you at least laughed and found comfort
in the fact you are not alone.
I'm sure most parents struggle with the clean room dilemma.
Hope your week is going well and your troubles are limited
to whether or not your vacuum will survive.
Wishing all of you a week of adventures,
solutions to your challenges, peace,
and answers to your prayers.
Happy Summer!
solutions to your challenges, peace,
and answers to your prayers.
Happy Summer!
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| Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom |
Kindest Wishes,
~Mary
