Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

CONTENTMENT - Eleven Points

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 CONTENTMENT - ELEVEN POINTS
by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez
 

 
Contentment may not be as simple as we'd like. Searching for it, longing for it, dreaming about it, and hoping to find it continues to be a life-long treasure hunt for many. Although circumstances often create roadblocks to our contentment, there are a few coping strategies we can consider along the way. Contentment is a dynamic condition, and one that is worth pursuing. Here are a few ideas to get you started. I look forward to hearing your ideas too. Let me know where you are in your adventures and shout out a few of your own resources here.

Choices - It helps to consider more than one way to reach your goals. Often, we box ourselves into a one and done method. Give yourself permission to release yourself from this limitation. Choices open our eyes to new possibilities. Work, relationships, and financial matters can be linked to our choices. 
 
Opportunities - Find moments to expand your circle of resources, get out of your comfort zone to network with others, research new careers, and sign up to learn something new. If we stay "stuck" in our current position, we risk losing our flexibility for change. It's easy to remain in what becomes familiar long after it is healthy for us, simply because we are afraid to move forward. Change can be difficult for many of us. Practice seeking out other opportunities to enhance your experiences in life.

Numerous adventures - Adventures do not need to be elaborate, expensive, or intense to be meaningful. An adventure can be learning something new, going on a hike, exploring a section of town you've never seen, or planning a short road trip. Adventures offer a range of experiences that can enhance your feeling of connection to family and friends. They can even provide a way for you to enjoy time to yourself. Getting away from your typical schedule or routine can boost your brain and recharge your energy. For anyone who has anxiety when veering too far off a routine, you might choose to have some quiet time. Your adventure is whatever you need on your way to contentment. 

Tenacious decisions - When faced with serious circumstances, life-altering situations, and season-of-life desires for change, remember that perseverance and consistency create the path toward our goals. Research your resources, write down your strategies, and evaluate your progress. Make those tenacious decisions! Expect to be nervous and scared. Change, even good change, is hard and uncomfortable. Lean into that discomfort and keep moving. It is within these moments of change that we begin to find contentment.

Encouragement - It can be difficult if not impossible to infuse yourself with inspiration. Sometimes we struggle to find the motivation, strength, and endurance required to push forward. This is when you find your team of individuals who add positive energy, uplift your spirit, and emotionally support your plan of action. If you find that someone is pulling you down with all the reasons "that can't work", it's time to reduce your contact with them and recognize they are one of the reasons we sabotage ourselves. Encouragement can come from many sources. Find what works for you.

Nourishment - Commit to healthy food, drink, and physical movement. Start with small changes and remain consistent. When we are accustomed to doing things a certain way for a long period of time, rewiring our brains to do something different takes time. Give yourself grace on the days when you feel discouraged. Keep working toward your goals and schedule reminders throughout the day to inspire follow through.  

Tranquility - Find moments throughout your day to breathe, release tension, and be at peace. This is often one of the most difficult tasks to accomplish. We are all so busy and often over-scheduled.  Even a few seconds to close your eyes and visualize a place where you feel calm can make a difference. If you have a 30-minute lunch break, consider taking the first 5 minutes to decompress and the last 5 minutes to re-energize your mind before returning to work. Visualize a box where you "store" your concerns for that period of time. It doesn't mean you're ignoring the tasks waiting for you. Instead, think about this as a temporary parking spot where you have to turn off your engine. Breathing and counting exercises can also help. 

Movement - Short breaks throughout your day to get up and move have been proven to increase productivity, enhance creativity, improve brain function, and decrease stress.  More intense movement where you increase your heart rate improves cardiovascular health. Lifting weights improves muscle tone and enhances overall sense of well-being. Whether you choose to move several times throughout the day for quick brain breaks or schedule in a workout, movement is an important strategy in your quest for contentment.

Education - The process of learning has the potential to boost confidence, enhance sense of self-worth, and improve opportunities to make an impact in your chosen career field. The more we engage in learning about the world in which we live, the better we can understand ourselves and the people with whom we come into contact. Embrace new strategies, methods, and techniques as you commit to reading, research, and activities.  Take time to boost your mind and challenge your brain.

Negotiation - There is a fine art in learning how to appreciate individual differences, understanding how people engage in discussions, and discerning what it takes to work toward mutually beneficial outcomes. One of the best ways to develop your negotiation skills is to develop a strong enough sense of self that you can put aside ego and personal gain. Be willing to compliment others and appreciate what they have to offer throughout your negotiations. As with any fine art, successful interactions take time and plenty of practice.

Teamwork - Collaborating with others to share resources, develop strategies, and create programs in a supportive environment can lead to satisfying experiences whether at home, in the workplace, or in a sports arena. Teamwork involves planning, negotiations, contracting, timelines, and the ability to follow through on projects from start to completion. The dynamic pull of teammates as each variable is incorporated creates an energy and flow. There is satisfaction in seeing a plan grow and materialize. 



Thanks for taking time to read this blog.
You are appreciated!

 

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Wishing all of you many adventures,
solutions to your challenges,
answers to your prayers,
& resources to help you survive
all of your collaborative projects!
(And... a good dose of ranting to release the stress once in a while)
Kindest Wishes,
~ Mary


 
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Disclaimer
World of Writer Mom.org is part of an affiliate program. This means that if you make a purchase through the links I promote on this site or on its related social media platforms, I may earn a small commission from that action to support World of Writer Mom.org
Important: You will NOT be charged more when buying products through my link.
I enjoy taking time to research products that look interesting and may provide helpful resources to you and your family. The opinions, knowledge, and experiences I write about are my own. Real Life Awareness: Recommendations do not imply liability, responsibility for disappointments or failed expectations, or regret over budgeting woes. I trust each reader to use their own good judgment when it comes to knowing what will work best for you and your family. (Because...well...I am not the ultimate decision maker, judge, or source of approval for anyone except myself...and my children...until they are legally allowed to represent themselves.)
Thank You for taking time to read, participate, and share your adventures with me. Hopefully, we'll find something to occasionally purchase, enjoy, and use in an effort to create a special 
moment. PrivacyThis blog does not share personal information with third parties, nor do we store any information about your visit to this blog other than to analyze and optimize your content and reading experience through the use of cookies. You can turn off the use of cookies at any time by changing your specific browser settings. We are not responsible for republished content from this blog on other blogs or websites without our permission. This privacy policy is subject to change without notice and was last updated on October 15, 2020. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly here at: worldofwritermom@outlook.com
 


 

Saturday, November 14, 2020

How do you INSPIRE others?

Inspiring others to make a difference

by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

 

 

It is important to recognize that what we say and how we say it can create a mood or vibe. The nuances of language are complex. Words contain power in their presentation. And it's not just the words that create energy. Your approach and how you care for others is infused into your messages. Daily interactions provide insights into how you feel, your intent, and what you find important in life.  The way you choose to communicate is the result of many variables including:


LIFE EXPERIENCES

PERSONAL STRUGGLES & SURVIVALS       

KNOWLEDGE ON VARIOUS TOPICS

SELF-AWARENESS OF STRENGTHS/CHALLENGES/TRIGGERS

UNDERSTANDING OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT THROUGHOUT LIFE CYCLE

ABILITY TO ASSIMILATE INFORMATION AND APPLY IT TO SITUATIONS

COPING SKILLS/ABILITY TO EVALUATE INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS

              

One way to enhance your ability to communicate and inspire others is to watch and learn from those who have practiced this skill and do it well. You have a wealth of resources available via social media and other outlets. Finding the ones that resonate with you may take a little time, but it is worth the search. Here are some of the places I have found inspiration.  

 

Mikki Williams

 

I had the pleasure of attending a workshop presented by Mikki Williams several years ago during an AFAA certification conference in Frankfurt, Germany. Not only is she an expert story teller, she is also an incredible inspirational speaker. Mikki has a talent for grabbing her audience's attention and making them think about the possibilities available in life and in business. At the conference I attended, she also shared her creative choreography talents as a dancer. Our group of exercise/fitness instructors learned how to build fun cardio routines for our classes. But even more than that, we learned how important it is to recognize each person's unique story and incorporate that into our work as fitness instructors. It was a moment in my personal history that made a lasting impression. And isn't that what communication is about? We all hope that something we say or do will help others in their journey.  Mikki shared that we cannot "motivate" others to do what we think they need to be doing. But we can "inspire" them to make choices and changes. Remembering this has helped me countless times and in many areas of my life. Years after I saw Mikki, she continues to offer insights via her web page. I recently decided to get recertified in group fitness after remembering how much I enjoyed teaching. I signed up for classes and just received my study materials. (After connecting with Mikki on LinkedIn, those memories of her workshop came flooding back.) So check out Mikki's site and find out all the amazing things she has to offer. You will find inspiration.
 
 
 
 
 
 
The first person I met on my first day of high school was James Divine. We arrived at the door leading to the band room at the same time. (If I am remembering correctly.) I was very introverted and nervous about my first day of high school. His kind smile and greeting immediately put me at ease, and that day was the beginning of a lasting friendship. Throughout our four years in band, he was the big brother I needed, my ride home from band practices and games, and the person I trusted no matter what. I watched him grow in confidence and was happy for him when he fell in love with the woman he would one day marry. All that time, I never once suspected he held on to a dark secret that haunted him. I didn't find out until many years later when we ended up reconnecting. James is an accomplished musician, author, and inspirational speaker who has helped many individuals realize there is life beyond trauma. He is a teacher and advocate for those who need to find their voice. His most amazing accomplishments are being a husband, father, grandfather, and friend to many. I know that one day I'll get my books published too, because James has written about how it can be done even when you are busy and going in a million directions. And because I know James confronted his trauma, I have been able to reassure others that they too can overcome theirs.  Check out what he has done. You will find inspiration.



World of Writer Mom's Communication Tips
 
 
Three things that create roadblocks to communication:
 
1. Assumptions  2. Expectations 3. Generalizations

Read more about these roadblocks at
 
 




Wishing all of you a week of adventures
solutions to your challenges,
answers to your prayers,
& resources to help you accomplish
all of your collaborative projects!

Kindest Wishes,
~ Mary


 
Copyright 2020 World of Writer Mom
 
 
 
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Disclaimer
World of Writer Mom.org is part of an affiliate program. This means that if you make a purchase through the links I promote on this site or on its related social media platforms, I may earn a small commission from that action to support World of Writer Mom.org
Important: You will NOT be charged more when buying products through my link.
I enjoy taking time to research products that look interesting and may provide helpful resources to you and your family. The opinions, knowledge, and experiences I write about are my own. Real Life Awareness: Recommendations do not imply liability, responsibility for disappointments or failed expectations, or regret over budgeting woes. I trust each reader to use their own good judgment when it comes to knowing what will work best for you and your family. (Because...well...I am not the ultimate decision maker, judge, or source of approval for anyone except myself...and my children...until they are legally allowed to represent themselves.)
Thank You for taking time to read, participate, and share your adventures with me. Hopefully, we'll find something to occasionally purchase, enjoy, and use in an effort to create a special moment.
Privacy: This blog does not share personal information with third parties nor do we store any information about your visit to this blog other than to analyze and optimize your content and reading experience through the use of cookies. You can turn off the use of cookies at anytime by changing your specific browser settings. We are not responsible for republished content from this blog on other blogs or websites without our permission. This privacy policy is subject to change without notice and was last updated on October 15, 2020. If you have any questions feel free to contact me directly here at: worldofwritermom@outlook.com

 
 
 

Thursday, August 1, 2019

A Time to Swear

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A Time to Swear
by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez



Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom


I tell my husband that I never swore until we had been dating for a while.  It's my way of trying to transfer the blame to him.  I don't remember being much of a salty mouthed person growing up.  I might have had a few inappropriate words float through my head on occasion out of frustration, but knew better than to let them fly out of my mouth.  That was my period of presenting the fake me; the me who had to edit herself for fear of what someone might think if I shared my real emotions. (She still shows up more frequently than I'd like.) Those bottled up emotions had nowhere to go, and created quite a few physical ailments.  I finally decided to see a therapist in my early twenties.  Turned out that moving to another state for a career opportunity, intent on solidifying a long-term on again, off again relationship I had been in since college turned out to be a perfect recipe for an emotional disaster. 


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I recall one session where I sat in front of my therapist with a sad emptiness.  I knew there was no sign of emotion on my face; just a blank stare as I recited my "positive" outlook and all the ways I wanted to make things seem okay.  I had allowed myself to be unhappy in a long term relationship and didn't quite think enough of myself to end it.  I viewed a break up as a sign of failure.  Besides, how would I explain that to my family?  At one point in our session, the therapist looked at me and said something that still haunts me and makes me think.  "You're just sitting there acting like everything is okay.  I just want to reach over and shake you!  Why don't you feel like you deserve anything better?" That was the beginning of some long, deep, soul searching as I struggled to ask myself why I couldn't let out the real me.  Why did I still feel a need to be perfect, smoothing out the wrinkles in a warn out relationship that was on life support way longer than necessary, and be afraid to move forward?  Why? 

Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom


So by the time I ended that relationship and met my husband, I had a lot of baggage to deal with.  So did he.  Only I didn't realize it at the time.  As with any relationship, you gradually unpack the baggage, and begin to figure out it's place in your life, if you can tolerate the process of unpacking it, and what you can work together to eliminate, if it wasn't in the best interest of the union.  It's been a bitch of a time.  Even after almost 20 years, the haunting memory of the day my therapist asked, "Why don't you feel like you deserve better?" still pops up in my brain, like those pop up advertisements you wish would go away so you can read the damned articles in peace.

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The process of finding my voice and letting out those pent up emotions has resulted in me being a bit more free with my "creative language."  I discovered that certain sounds elicit specific emotions that are just not duplicated by "proper" linguistics.  Sometimes dropping an "F" bomb adds clarity, reduces stress, and eliminates the need to pull my eyelashes out or dig my fingernails into my hand to control the burning sensation that develops in my chest (a.k.a anxiety) when somebody cuts me off in traffic. The satisfaction of hearing and feeling the /ck/ sound at the end of a word is immediate.  There is a connotation of defined power.

Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom.org


"As children we're taught that cursing, even when we're in pain, is inappropriate,
betrays a limited vocabulary or is somehow low class 
in that ambiguous way many cultural lessons suggest.
  But profanity serves a physiological, emotional and social purpose 
- and it's effective only because it's inappropriate."  ~ Kristin Wong


There are studies that have shown the benefits of swearing. From emotional release to interpersonal communications that serve as a bonding agent, releasing a few swear words into the atmosphere can be cathartic.  The frustrations I have experienced since meeting my husband have definitely earned a few suitcases (baggage) full of swear words.  He has used them in conversations, and I simply got tired of not having sufficient vernacular to toss back. My "oh, fudge" go-to that I picked up from my dad just wasn't working it's magic when engaged in a discussion.  So thanks to my very challenging, "I learned English from watching Martin on television" husband, I began to expand my use of traditional swear words.  An "F" bomb here, a Gordon Ramsey-esque version of "piss off" there, and some other colorful expression picked up from the Cardi B songs my teen listens to on the way to school to "pump her up" for the day. 


Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom.org


"A study co-authored by Richard Stephens, a senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University,
 found that swearing can increase your ability to withstand pain.  
So when you stub your toe and howl an expletive, 
it might help you tolerate the pain better."


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So I do think it's okay to let loose on occasion and release the stress, tension, and pain in your life with a few swear words.  Of course, now that I have children, I want to provide alternatives that are just as creative and therapeutic.  There is the added benefit of being more, ahem, "socially acceptable" under certain circumstances; like places where you might risk offending people with your personal rendition of Gordon Ramsey's unique blend of humor and spicy swear words.  So here are a few "swears" my kids and I have created/borrowed to share our anger, pain, frustration, and exasperation with the many events that transpire in our lives.


Copyright 2019 World of Writer Mom


World of Writer Mom Original Swears:

Optional: Begin each of these with an, "Oh!"

*Sugar Plums & Fairy Dust
(Personal favorite)

Fudge Nuts and Cherries

Tomatoes and Salad Dressing

Cranberry Sauce

(Lots of food related references)

  Diddly Wompers or
Dinkus Wompers

Well knock my sand castle down 
and throw me in the ocean

Any made up silly words (alliteration is fun) 
or humorous nonsense phrases

Say any celebrity's name using inflection,
attitude, and tone of voice to convey a message

Example:
(Inspired by my middle school crew.  
Shout outs to Nathan, Sebastien, and Josh)

"Kanye West and Kitty Cat Crayons"


Borrowed or Heard from Somewhere

God Bless America
(My kids think this is hilarious for some reason.
I think America needs a lot of blessing.)

Blessed Mother give me patience!

Literary Swears
(Quotes taken from your favorite novels can 
be turned into your own personal stress word.)


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Share A Swear Contest II


I'm sure there are more, and I'll add them as the ideas come to me.  I've asked family and friends for their input, so we'll look forward to seeing what they share.  Inviting you to give your recommendations too!  What words do you say that provide immediate relief from pain and stress, and what creative words have you shouted in a moment of frustration? See comments section after this article to add your ideas.  Come up with something unique that makes me laugh so hard my abs hurt and I'll pick three that I love enough to send you a gift card for Pura Vida jewelry. You can add it to the comments section below or share to my facebook account. I will make my selections on 08/16/2019.


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Wishing all of you a week of adventures, 
solutions to your challenges, 
answers to your prayers, 
resources to help you survive
all of your collaborative projects!


Copyright 2018 World of Writer Mom

Kindest Wishes,


 ~Mary  


~  Contest Rules ~
Contest has CLOSED

Offer is valid only in the U.S.A.
Comments are due by end of day 08/16/2019
"Swears" need to be unique and suitable for use 
by children and adults
(a.k.a something I can print for this article)
Winners announced on 08/17/2019

🠝
 
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