World of Writer Mom

Monday, April 8, 2024

Challenges of Parenting & More

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Challenges of Parenting & Reasons
I Love Being a Mom ~ My List of Ten

Originally published on Tuesday, 08/13/2019 &

Revised article published on 04/08/2024 at World of Writer Mom
By: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

Challenge #1

Teaching children how to stand up for themselves is hard.

You want them to be respectful, and you want them to be capable

of defending themselves too. It's a fine line and requires finesse.

Reason I Love Being a Mom #2

I love hearing how my children stand up for what they believe

is right, just, and necessary. They DO listen to me even though

some days it does not feel like they hear a word I say.

Challenge #3

Allowing children to speak what is on their mind requires

endless patience and a willingness to let go of your own ego.

Reason I Love Being a Mom #4

I have learned that I can let go of my desire to prove I am "right"

all the time. Guess what? Sometimes I can be totally wrong!

Children need to know they have points too. When you are

willing to relinquish your perceived control when the stakes

are low, you are in a better position to call in

the "Mom Card" on subjects that truly matter

in terms of your child's physical, emotional, and

social well-being. Pick your battles

or the small, insignificant crap will haunt you.

Challenge #5

Sharing your experiences, concerns, worries, and expectations often sucks.

You want to impart wisdom in ways

that help children develop an understanding

of how to act and respond in today's world.

Figuring out how to manage these concepts can be tricky.

Each child processes information and assimilates it differently.

Reason I Love Being a Mom #6

When I see how my children interact with others,

how caring they have become,

and how much they love and respect those with whom

they have connected, it makes me feel incredibly

proud of the amazing young people they are.

We are each on a journey here on earth,

and it is so important for each of us to realize

how we can use our gifts, talents, and interests

to make the world a better place to live.

Challenge #7

Exhaustion. Sometimes I need to remind my

children, "Mommy is a human mommy, not

an android." We get tired too. It's part of the

whole parenting deal. Accepting that these

moments happen is necessary. It's okay to

take a step back and admit it's time for a break.

(Sometimes that means dropping everything and

just getting on the floor to play, listen to the kids, or

watch a movie together. The dishes can wait.)

Reason I Love Being a Mom #8

Teaching my children how to develop self-help skills,

life skills, and coping skills that will encourage them

to pursue independence is a wonderful way to build

their self-confidence. When I see them self-initiating

tasks, it helps me realize that I am doing a good job.

(Believe me, we still are a work in progress. But I do

feel encouraged every time someone empties the dish

washer or takes out the trash without being asked.)

Challenge #9

Holidays, special occasions, and family get-togethers.

Sometimes it can be hard to live up to the

perceived expectations. I never thought I would

be as great at pulling off birthdays, Christmases,

and other special events the way my mother could.

She is a way better chef, baker, and entertainer than

I could ever hope to become. I have learned to be

okay with my own way of taking care of my

family and friends. It is always worth the challenge.

Movie Theater Fun ~ A rare treat

Reason I Love Being a Mom #10

I have written about this many times, but it is worth

repeating for this post. I have three bio-children

and several kiddos I consider my "bonus children."

They have taught me to venture outside of my

comfort zone, experience a variety of adventures,

taught me to be more social and interactive...even

though I'd often rather stay at home and snuggle on the

couch with them to watch a movie...and take the

time to have fun. They are my constant reminders that

God, the universe, and this crazy planet have an incredible sense of humor,

a wisdom for gifting me with these amazing children,

and the trust in me to bring them up to become

decent humans. World...I'm doing my best.

Speaking engagements & Advocacy Coaching

Contact me at mbvrodriguez3@yahoo.com for information to schedule

a presentation, inspirational speech, or coaching session

to advocate for your personal cause or concern.

I can also assist with written communication needs.

Rates are negotiable.

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Elementary School Melt Downs

Elementary School Melt Downs
Consequences of Being A Brave Friend
Consequences of Being A Brave Friend
Ten Year Anniversary of this Post
Originally published on Friday, March 28, 2014, at

The Mother Freakin' Parent (Hood)
by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

Recently my third-grade son got into the car after school and was in tears. These were tears of frustration after many months dealing with a challenging classmate. He finally reached his limit and provided his classmate with the universal sign for "leave me alone I'm tired of your @!#?" The teacher who escorted my son to the car to explain what had gone down was sympathetic and almost apologetic that she had to inform me of my son's "communication technique". She promised to let the teacher know why this had happened so that the situation could be resolved.

I calmly informed my son that I was not upset with him and waited for him to settle down. He told me that one of his classmates had falsely accused his friend of doing something for which she was not responsible. My son stood up for his friend and asked the other classmate to stop his accusations. When the classmate did not cease his finger pointing, my son became upset, and the conversation escalated to the point that inappropriate finger gesturing occurred.

It turned out that the "tattle tale" classmate had a long history of participating in his little game of judgments. He had a habit of falsely accusing his peers of activities just to get a reaction. I explained why some children may feel a need to act this way. We discussed appropriate dialogue and strategies to deal with such situations. The most important thing is that no matter what another child says, he should never allow himself to get so frustrated that he physically strikes out. I could see how such a situation could escalate to the point where punches are thrown, or someone is wrestled to the ground. NOT acceptable strategies.

I immediately called the school to report the incident and follow up with the appropriate individuals who could assist with this matter. I knew that the teacher in attendance during dismissal would be reporting the concerns as well. I left a message for my son's third grade teacher and for the school counselor. I gave the information that was available and also included what I hoped would happen:

"Please help the children discuss their concerns and provide them with some communication strategies to help them reach a resolution. Let me know how I can follow up with your recommendations at home."

This communication with the school was important because I wanted the school to know I was aware of the situation. I gave a specific request for them to consider. I also wanted the school to know I was a part of the solution to the problem and was willing to follow up with their recommendations. The team approach was very necessary to ensure that a repeat of the situation does not occur.

I was pleased the get a follow up call the following day from the school counselor who had taken time to speak to both of the boys involved. She made sure they knew to ask a teacher or counselor for help if they had any other difficulties with communication. Both children felt empowered to resolve their differences. I let the counselor know I appreciated her time and quick attention to the matter. I emphasized again how I feel that we are a team, and I will continue to encourage my child to discuss his concerns in an appropriate manner.

Make no mistakes here. I am a mama bear. If I had not received a timely response to the matter or felt in any way that our concerns had not been addressed, I would have shown up in person. (I have no qualms about making an appointment with the principal or teachers involved.) The keys to ensuring that your child's voice is heard include:

1. Use a Respectful yet Confident Voice to express your concerns.

2. Be specific. What happened and what do you want the school to do to address the challenges?

3. Inform the school what you have already done to help resolve the issue.

4. What you are willing to do to be a catalyst for positive change?

5. Make sure you follow up with compliments and reassure the school that you appreciate the "Team Approach."

Advocacy for your child often involves unexpected and on the spot problem solving. Confidently and respectfully pursue what you know is best for you child!

Additional note for the 10 Year Anniversary of this post

It has been ten years since this incident, and I am happy to report that all three of my children, including the one involved in this article, are showing signs of being excellent advocates for their peers, for themselves, and for their coworkers. Developing a sense of equitable treatment of others, ethical personal and business practices, and a sense of responsibility for self and others is a cumulative skill that requires practice. I also continue to demonstrate advocacy skills and practice communication in my personal and professional life. Although it can be uncomfortable to confront inequities, it is important to be true to yourself, represent what is right and just, and hopefully make things better for those with whom you share space on this crazy, spinning planet. We're here to support each other, and anything less than respectful interactions needs to be appropriately addressed.

Speaking engagements & Advocacy Coaching

Contact me at mbvrodriguez3@yahoo.com for information to schedule

a presentation, inspirational speech, or coaching session

to advocate for your personal cause or concern.

I can also assist with written communication needs.

Rates are negotiable.

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Moments for a Sunday 2024

Originally published 11/19/2017

Today's Goals:

S - Savoring these moments of peace
allows us time to
reorganize our thoughts,
prioritize our goals,

and replenish our strength

before the start of a new week.

U - Uplifting others who are
experiencing life's challenges
is a great way to boost your spirit.

N - Nourishing our body, mind, and soul
provides us with the energy we need
to help ourselves and help others.
Self-Care is not "selfish."
Self-Care is "self-filled."

D - Defining our goals for the week

begins with a short list.

Find one thing each day to focus on

and write it down.

A - Avoiding the things that prevent

successful completion of our daily goals

is another real challenge.

Every time you do something

instead of your main goal, stop!

Remind yourself,

"This is another avoidance issue for me.

Why am I doing this?"

Y - YOU can stay on track by:

1. Keeping your goals short and simple.

2. Giving yourself permission to get things done,

even if it's not perfect.

3. Stop doing activities that get in the way

of your success.

Wishing all of you another week of adventures,
solutions to your challenges,
and answers to your prayers.

Kindest Wishes,
Mary

c.2017 World of Writer Mom

#WorldofWriterMomRecommends #WriterMomAdvocate
#Sunday #SundayInspirations #WisdomforSunday

Monday, October 16, 2023

MONDAY's "LIST OF TEN" MOM MOMENTS

World of Writer Mom.org is part of an affiliate program.

This means that if you make a purchase through the links I promote on this site or on its related social media platforms,
I may earn a small commission from that action to support World of Writer Mom.org

Important: You will NOT be charged more when buying products through my link.

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Fireflies in a Baby Food Jar (and other summer time memories...) 2023 update

Fireflies in a Baby Food Jar
and other summer time memories...

(originally published August 1, 2019)

by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

Create Summer Time Memories

Summer time as a child felt like the release of a long breath after diving into the deep end of a pool. It was inhaling deeply upon coming back to the surface and looking up to the sun. There was this feeling of being released from winter's wrath, school days, and the pressures of homework when you'd rather play. Summer time was magic, and felt like it would never end. Sometimes I have a need to remember those moments, and realize my children deserve these stress free times too. Here are some of the things I loved as a child...

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1. The sound of morning, unhurried, as you slowly awaken and realize there is no need to get ready for school.

2. Dressing in shorts, t-shirts, and sandals instead of the school uniform: blue plaid jumper over a crisp, white, peter pan collar blouse, and a red criss-cross tie that felt like it was choking you.

3. Filling the red, Kool-Aid canteen (ordered by mail) with water and riding all over the neighborhood on a banana seat bike with the weird handlebars.

4. Swim lessons at the local school where you challenged yourself to see how far you could make it across the pool to earn your certificate.

5. Going to the park where you could play forever on the swings and slides while your dad played basketball with whomever was on the court at the time.

6. Collecting aluminum cans so they could be recycled for a little extra spending money. One summer, we filled garbage bags with beer cans collected from the local park after ball games. The entire garage smelled like stale beer, but my parents still let us do it. It was a great day when we loaded up those bags and took them to the recycling center.

7. Walking to the 7-11 for slurpees (icee drinks) with my siblings. That money from those recycled beer cans had to be spent!

8. Weekly trips to the library where we loaded up on books. There was never a shortage of adventures and imagination thanks to reading all summer!

9. Late nights (at least to us) where we played outside until the street lights came on. Collecting lightening bugs in baby food jars helped us learn about science, nature, and that lightening bugs really do need to be freed before going to bed. They are not, in fact, a night light. But as a kid, you wished you could take them to your room and watch them until you fell asleep.

10. Falling asleep to the sound of crickets and a fan whirring near an open window (because we didn't have air conditioning) after a bath and clean jammies. That feeling of contentment was priceless, only we didn't realize it at the time.

Life isn't perfect. There are moments when you wonder how your family ever got through things as a child. Then as an adult you have those same concerns about making it through those tough times. That is when it helps to remember the pleasant, peaceful, childhood memories of summer time freedom, carefree days, and the nightly fireflies in a baby jar kind of moments.

Isabella S.Rodriguez, Photo credit

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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Skateboarding through life's challenges

This article originally appeared on

Monkey Bars, Mud Pies, & Movement

by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez

My children were born with practically no fear for their personal safety. When my daughter was born the hospital gifted her with those plastic ankle and wrist name tags. She quickly found a way to get her mother into trouble by houdini-ing her way out of those suckers. The nurse said, "Ms. Rodriguez she has to keep those on." No shit. I don't know how she managed to sneak out of those things, but she did. Safety. She had no concern for it from day one. Her brothers followed suit and showed similar lack of concern for all things programmed to send shock waves of worry through their mother.

It doesn't matter how many times I remind them or encourage them to consider the consequences of their actions. Truth be told, we are fortunate that our trips to the Emergency Room have been minimal when I review the schematics of their motor planning fiascos. We have had accidental corneal abrasions due to sibling rough housing...right before school one morning. There have been monkey bar mishaps that resulted in x-rays, slings, and soft casts. Let's not forget the run ins with wall corners and curbs that have left long lasting souvenirs on foreheads; also some so close to the corners of tiny eyes that you cringe at the memory. Yup. That's my bunch.

I have to admit that my children don't exactly have it easy with me as their mother. I like to give explanations regarding why something shouldn't be attempted or why certain protocols must be employed based on a specific situation. It's summer time, so let's take the pool as one example. I do not want them jumping near the edges or the steps. Why? Because I visualize head injuries, concussions, and a life time of dealing with short term memory loss. Don't even get me started on the potential for spinal cord injuries and near drownings.

When you have worked with children and adults who have experienced these types of tragedies, it does something to your attention to detail. Your concerns are heightened and those concerns naturally get filtered down to your own family. Sorry kids, but mommy's worked with individuals who have survived some horrific situations. Deal with that, my darlings, and hopefully you will be more aware even when I am no longer there to remind you. (Also, alcohol and water should never be mixed. Being alert while swimming or near others who are swimming is one of those absolutes...no room for mistakes on this one.)

It's a constant struggle for me to allow activities that have some risk attached. I have allowed them to go zip lining. They are excellent swimmers and know my safety rules for the pool. We all had a blast riding go carts in Mexico. My children all know how to ride a bicycle and roller skate. (Not at the same time. Thankfully they haven't suggested that yet.) We have gone on long road trips together and gotten so lost in the state of Texas that I was relieved when a trooper pulled me over. He took pity on me and helped me find my way back to a main highway. (Hey...don't laugh unless you've tried to drive through those country roads that go on F-O-R-E-V-E-R) So we are no strangers to adventure.

So this past weekend when my 8 year old son asked me to take him to a skate park, I totally believe he felt capable of handling that challenge. We had tried the skate park a few months ago, and it resulted in a sprained ankle. At this point I'm an expert at wrapping sprains, having experienced quite a few of my own. But I did not want to take any chances. My son had dismantled his bike helmet and deconstructed the elbow and knee pads a while back, and I was in no position to repurchase those items fearing they would encounter the same demise. So we agreed on a park where the sidewalks were fairly smooth and a decent sized basketball court would provide a level space for him to practice his tricks. That was my compromise.

I had nightmares about the time he first tried to skateboard 2 years ago. He fell and bumped his mouth. A bloody mouth and two loose front teeth sent us to the ER close to our home. Keep in mind that he did not injure his head and only had minor scrapes on his knees. The first thing every medical person said was, "Was he wearing a helmet?" Um...helmets are good, and I do agree they offer protection. In this case, it made no difference. The helmet did not protect the mouth. In my son's case, the helmet actually inhibited his field of vision and interfered with how his body felt on the skateboard.

As much as we want to protect our children from serious injuries, at some point they are going to experience what it's like to get hurt. So, we instruct, encourage, and remind to the best of our abilities. And if, heaven forbid, that day comes when they get hurt, we need to be strong enough to help them through that as well. I jokingly have told my children we need to invent a bubble wrap suit. But the reality is we cannot avoid all the variables that factor into our day. So be careful but have fun too. Hopefully you'll skateboard through life's challenges with minimal damage. (And really, the helmet is an important safety strategy, so please endeavor to use one!)

By the way, we made it through the weekend sans injuries! We had perfect weather for the park and even picked up a few items for an impromptu picnic. As I watched my children zipping down the sidewalk on their skateboards, I was reminded of my own attempts to ride my brother's skateboard down the driveway when I was a kid. Skinned knees and elbows healed. My sense of needing adventure....still there. I wish the same for my children...a never ending desire for adventures. (Not the skinned knees and elbows.)

Hope your week is filled with manageable challenges!