Sunday, January 14, 2018

Bathroom Etiquette ~ May the Flush Be Ever In Your Favor


 
Here We "Go" Again
by: M.B.Varville-Rodriguez
 
  
OMG I just read another post about the transgender bathroom dilemma. Guess where I saw that comment? My goal this year as a writer and advocate is to become the nicest TROLL ever. 


T - Teach
       R - Respect
         O - Observe
        L - Listen
          L - Learn


In this particular case, people were off on a tangent thanks to one person's comment. Time for a little humor, so here's what I posted in the most respectful, funny way in an effort to divert the feed. 


Here's my comment:


 
" Dear Lord, it's the bathroom dilemma again? The truth is, if the ladies room is full and there's an empty stall in the men's room when I have a bathroom "emergency" then guess what? I don't care where it is...that stall is for me versus having another type of disaster. (Some of you probably know what I'm talking about.)


When you have a situation where your digestive system is not cooperating, you'll decide pretty quick the significance of where you need to go. Aside from that, many of you have most likely been in a rest room with someone who is transgender and you'd never even know it. Many places of business now have "family" rest rooms too. We can discuss worse case scenarios all day and never reach an agreement on this one.


Travel to other areas of the world or find yourself in a situation where you need to relieve yourself by the side of a road because there's no bathroom at all. Perspective, self awareness, a good dose of mind your own business, and get out of the restroom quickly can go a long way. And for goodness sakes....I expect better than name calling here. If you wanna hear some really disturbing bathroom tales, me and my horrible digestive system can entertain for hours."


Sigh. There will never be total agreement on this. But let's be honest. We just need a place to go when it's time to go.


Additional Comments added Saturday, 01/14/2017


UPDATE: Ironic that this would happen shortly after I posted my article, but here is what actually happened yesterday while I was shopping with my 3 children in WalMart. I went to the customer service area at the back of the store to use the restroom. A WalMart employee was standing guard near the women's restroom and two other women were standing in line as if waiting. They looked at me and said "The restroom is closed." I asked, "What about the one at the front of the store?" I was informed, "That one is closed too and we were told to come back here." So basically, there were NO women's restrooms available. I looked at the WalMart employee and said, "Are both the restrooms back here closed?" She replied, "No. Just this one (referring to the women's)."


Without hesitation, and with the utmost of confidence in my mission, I declared, "I don't care which bathroom this is; I have to pee." I proceeded to enter the men's restroom and secured a stall where I quickly did my business, got out and washed my hands, and exited just as another person was entering the restroom. The individual didn't even blink, question me, or stop on their way to a stall. End of story. I had to go, there was only one option, and I did what needed to be done without disturbing anyone else. Of course, the women who were waiting before I went in were not around when I came out. Perhaps they found another option. Each of us will have to comes to terms with our comfort level regarding this topic. 

The main point is:  You need to exercise the same level of awareness and caution as pre-transgender bathroom rights.  There will always be extreme examples and concerns to cite as credible concerns for some individuals.  The reality is that we all need to look out for each other, be vigilant of variances in safety, consider our surroundings, and exercise good judgment when your gut tells your something isn't comfortable. 

Regardless of how someone identifies, each person deserves respect and a sense of security within their community.  If you have time to be worried about verifying the accuracy of who uses public bathrooms, it may be time to reconsider using restrooms outside of your home and invest in your own port-a-potty.  Just out of curiosity...who really looks that closely at each person during their time in the bathroom?  Surely I'm not the only one who just wants to go in, do my business, and exit after washing my hands.  

So there you have it.  Just another perspective on the bathroom agenda.  Hoping you all make good choices in what you choose to support.  Encouraging you to be respectful, aware of your surroundings in each circumstance, and use discernment before passing judgment on what you do not understand. And wherever or whenever you decide it necessary to relieve yourself, may the flush be ever in your favor.


 Kindest Wishes,
Mary
 





2 comments:

  1. I agree with you 100% about this. If I have to go, I'm going. And should someone else have to go while I'm in there, they can go too. Surely there are people that will cite examples of some type of abuse, but they are few and far between otherwise it would be everywhere on social media/news sources, etc. Keeping my child safe (which is a big issue) is a non-issue. She stays with me and we wash and leave at the same time.

    As an example, as a mother, I would be more comfortable seeing a father bring his daughter into the ladies room in lieu of having her in the men's room with open urinals. But that's just me. Let's give it a few weeks and I'm sure there will be something new to complain about.

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment,Samantha! I agree with you about seeing a father bring his daughter into the ladies room. I'd be totally okay with that. I brought my sons into the ladies bathroom too. A couple of times little girls would say to their mom. "Hey. That's a boy in here." The moms usually responded with, "He's with his mama." No further conversations after that. Children need to feel safe,reassured,and educated regarding bathroom use. It's up to us as parents to ensure these things happen and know how to gently redirect them if something feels off.

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Thank you for visiting WorldofWriterMom.org I appreciate your time and comments. Kindest Wishes, Mary